And then there were two: PGS results

After the cliffhanger of my last post, I’ll go ahead and immediately spoil the ending of this one with the title. We have two PGS-normal embryos.

TWO. NORMAL. EMBRYOS.

I felt a little like this:

giphy

Okay, rewind… As of day 3, I had 14. I knew well enough to know that over the next two and three days, the lab would see a drop-off of at least half, and I was fine with that. The entire goal of Stim Part Deux: Electric Boogaloo was quality over quantity. Quantity, in my previous experience, hasn’t made a damn bit of difference for me. Five of my six embryos from my first stim cycle didn’t stick, and Kristoff, the lone embryo still frozen, had the lowest grading of that pack. The odds weren’t in his favor.

Quality, of course, is much harder to measure. I’d done the work I could do to potentially improve the quality of my much-older-than-my-age-and-AMH eggs by losing 35 pounds. But, other than feeling better than I had in a long time, I didn’t know if that would prove fruitful fertility-wise.

When day 5 arrived I think I stared at my phone all day. For previous updates the lab had emailed me in the morning, so by lunchtime I was a ball of anxiety. Did this mean none had progressed? Was the news so bad that the lab would have my doctor break it to me? What day is it? Do I still remember how to count to five? By 3:00, I simply couldn’t stand it anymore and emailed the greatest nurse on the planet. Hey if you could just do me a solid and walk down the hall to the lab… She was like calm down, crazy, since you’re doing PGS the lab will wait until tomorrow to give you the final results of how many made it to blastocyst to be biopsied.

“However, you have 2 for biopsy today 🙂 And likely many more for tomorrow. Yay!!!!”

There was crying.

Day 6 went by so damn slowly. But then the email came…

Five.

Plus, Kristoff had survived the thaw for biopsy and continued to develop.

Even more crying. So much crying that my husband only understood every seven words that I said on the phone when I called with the news.

Six embryos held all of my hopes and dreams: 5BB, 5BB, 6AA, 5AA, 5CB and 5BC. No pressure, kids, but my entire future is riding on you…

The nine days between hearing that number from the lab and getting the call from the greatest nurse on the planet with our PGS results were absolutely on-par with the two-week wait. I did my best to stay busy and keep my mind occupied, but if I’m being real those results were the only thing of substance I could think about.

On the afternoon when my nurse called, she admitted she was very scared to tell me there were two normal embryos. Two of six is a poor ratio, all things considered. But as soon as she said two, everything else fell away. I’d save the questions about the others for another day. When you’re terrified that you’re going to hear zero, two sounds like a million. I was so unbelievably grateful for two.

Lots more crying. All the crying.

So here we are… Two. It’s my new favorite number.

Ps… Kristoff wasn’t one of the normals. And she’s actually a Kristoffina.

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5 thoughts on “And then there were two: PGS results

  1. Marjorie says:

    Sorry for the questions, but which other was genetically normal? I know you’re pregnant with 5BB, so that was one of the normal ones obviously. Was the 6AA normal? Also what is the genders of your normal embryos? We have not done PGS (would love to, but it’s so expensive). I have one embroyo left it’s a 4AC…it’s the best numbers and letters I’ve got to date. I have problems with egg quality. We’ve done IVF 5 times.

    Liked by 1 person

    • wannabemamab says:

      Yes, it is 6AA that is our other normal embryo. We’ve decided to keep the sex of each of ourselves for now, though.

      PGS is definitely expensive, but when we decided to do a second retrieval earlier this year, we felt strongly it was worth the added cost. Like you mentioned, I have also had poor quality eggs, which resulted in three failed embryos. We only had one remaining embryo from that first cycle and assumed (rightfully) that it was also not viable. Given the results of my second retrieval, and had we not done PGS this time, we would have potentially used 2 or more abnormal embryos before we got to 5BB. The cost of more failed transfers outweighed the PGS. It is certainly a personal choice.

      Like

      • Marjorie says:

        I had a transfer with a 3BB and did get pregnant in November, but it ended in a chemical pregnancy. Now I constantly wonder if it was genetically normal or something wrong with me. It would have been nice to know. I will say knowing the gender before pregnancy is one special/pretty cool things (there isn’t many) that comes with dealing with infertility. I was curious why you choose your 5BB first, but I totally understand/respect keeping the genders private!

        Liked by 1 person

        • wannabemamab says:

          I’m sorry to hear about your chemical pregnancy. Those are so difficult in their own way.

          I agree about the gender – it’s actually why we decided to find out rather than waiting. We wanted to take control back over something! The choice to use 5BB this time was actually made by our clinic, though. They considered a day 5 embryo of slightly better quality than a 6, so they just transferred the best.

          Like

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